I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
