Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This baby is an asshole
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
