dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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