he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize