You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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