the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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