It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
