he wants to bone in the snuggie
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
