I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
