My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
