Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
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MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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