distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
