I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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