does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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