I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
