no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
