Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
