meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
