you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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