We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
