Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
