just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
