Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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