You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
