bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
