Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
