Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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