neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
