this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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