This is not my ceiling
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
