It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
