What did we do last night that was yellow?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
