Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
