this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
