hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize