the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize