no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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