Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
