Yo dont text me then not text me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
