I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Im part way to drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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