uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
