Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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