How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
