god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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