so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
