Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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