I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
