it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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