they need to just BURY HIM!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
