he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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