I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
