OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
