it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
