I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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