just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
