Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
