you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
