Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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