dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
